I need 2 re-evaluate my life

I'm finally recovering from my hangover.  I had played hookie from life for 2 days.

The 1st day, my son wasn't feeling well in the morning so I allowed him to stay at home.  He very rarely misses school but I'll admit, I was pretty tired my damn self, so his fake sick worked.  He had assumed that he was going to be allowed to watch TV all day, pahhh! Wrong mama! Read a book.  By lunchtime, you know he was ready to go to school.  *aww thats too bad - suck it up! u can't.....*.....anyway doe, after all the working people had taken lunch, I drove up the western end of the island to go shopping and get lunch with a friend.  We pretended to be tourist off one of the two cruise ship that had been docked that day. Due to the 'long" drive (30 minutes, to be exact) we were starving marvins, so we chose one of the well-known restaurants in the area to have lunch.  One thing I have learned about eating out (and grocery shopping) is to never order food when you are hungry because you over-order.   I haven't practiced this yet, but I'm admitting that I do know better.  Anyway, we ordered appetizers and a main dish. Before the unfinished appetizers had reached the bottom of our stomachs, we were ambushed by the main course.  Needless to say, that was a 'wrap up to go" main course before we had even tasted it,

As we were leaving there was a beer and rum sampling stall just outside the restaurant door and an acquaintance of ours was 'tending it..so we decided to bother her for a minute or so on the way out.....I'm still wondering whose fucking idea it was to sample the goods.

The first two samples were homemade beer...which by the way tasted like trash.  The next 3 samples were rum...a dark & stormy (rum & ginger beer) then a shot of Goslings Gold, then a shot of Gosling's liqueur.  The first sample was nice.....I think I have a new drink when I hit the bar scene.  While we were sampling, a group of tourist stopped to see what we were doing.  We decided to hustle them, and as expected curiosity got the best of them, so of course they joined in on our sampling.  Next thing you know, were having shots together...up to it, down to it fuck those who cant do it...lol! We led on that we did not know the server because like I said, we were pretending to be tourists.  After my 3rd hit of rum my blood started to warm so I threw in the towel, like come on it was only 3:30 in the afternoon, I ain't going out like that. So we thanked the server, tipped her and left.  By us doing so, the others decided to dig in their pockets and do the same.  We left the server with a smile :)

After the restaurant, we went shopping.  I had never realized how many shops were in this mini-village in the west end of the island but I was pleasantly surprised.  When we walked in, our timing had been severely off, because there was an elderly couple walking in front of us and one of them must have farted.  We walked right into the fart cloud!!!! FUCK OUR LIVES, I couldn't breathe, think or speak for what seemed to be about a 3 and a half minutes.  We knew who the culprits were and they just kept on walking! I felt so....so violated!  I recovered quickly once I saw the shoes on display in one of the stores....they went home with me afterwards too *say cheese...cheessseee*  (They weren't for me at the time, but they're mine now)

Soooo anyway, after the magic shoe purchase, we left to make our way back home.  We had dinner plans and drinks for my friend's birthday, and I elected to be the designated driver so I needed to be ready in 3 hours.  By the time I had gotten home, my demon/angel child and dog had pretty much trashed the house.  My dog has an addiction to paper napkins.  He sees one, he takes it and rips it in pieces.  No one ever sees him do this, or can even figure out where or how he gets this fucking paper, but he does - Daily!!  I think he may have stash spots around the house like he has for his doggie treats.  I cant fucking tell though.  After I clean up, I sort my son out so that he can go to my moms while I'm at dinner and drinks.  I never make time so everyone was already prepared for my long-windiness.

My son was bathed, fed and dressed within an hour...lined up a sitter for my dog cause I don't like to leave him home alone when I can afford not to...he's only 10 mths, shit. .so now the hard part - me.  I couldn't decide what to wear (rolling my eyes...what else is new), so I sat and smoked a cig to give it some thought...I pulled out  a few things (as usual) but still couldn't decide...so I decided to shower first then look some more.  I have this ritual (not on purpose, I just do it sub consciously), where I smoke a cigarette, then do something. Stop, take another smoke break, while I think, then do something else, then usually have another cigarette while sitting on the toilet, whether I'm using it or not to prepare myself to get a shower.....weird shit! Its like I turn into a chain smoker and cant complete a task without smoke breaks..every time i am preparing to leave my house for an extended period of time...I wonder if its anxiety from the anticipation of socializing...hmm *goes on google to see if there is such a thing*.

While I was in the shower, my first passenger arrived at my house.  Shortly, thereafter the birthday girl arrived at my house.  They expected that I wouldn't be ready so they agreed to drop my son while I finished getting ready, pick up passenger #3 then come back for me, then pick up passenger #4.  During this time, I was supposed to be getting dressed but being home alone somehow triggers my ADD. The phone rings, it was my son's father, he had fixed his bike and was dropping it off.  I put on my music to motivate me to get dressed, but then got caught up finding the right playlist.  Son's father arrives, we get into a conversation about allen-keys (wtf is an allen-key), the whole time we're talking, the girls are outside ringing my two cellphones off the hook.  Meanwhile, I've forgotten I was supposed to be getting dressed and we were making time....sigghhhh! Son's father leaves, I walk him out and see the car parked outside, SHIT! I ran back in the house, threw on a dress, boots, belt and accessories and halled-ass out the door, hopped in the car and started to drive to dinner.  As we approached a stop light, with only 15 minutes to get to dinner and a 25 minute drive ahead of us, we realized simultaneously that passenger #4 wasn't in the car! Soooo we had to u-turn and drive back to get her and pretend we never forgot her.  Good thing she was waiting outside for us :)

We finally arrived at the restaurant, everyone was ready to eat and party.  I wasn't that hungry being I had a heavy lunch, so took the smart approach at dinner and only ordered an appetizer.  Everyone else order a main course.  By the end of dinner everyone was ready to go sleep, but we couldn't let the bday girl down, so we had to put our game faces and head toward the bar.  It was still quite early when we finished dinner, so we made a stop at a bar before going to the final party spot.  The shots were firing from every direction. We were all a little warmer when we left there.  Finally, we got the final party spot!     I eased in slowly with the drinks because I was the designated driver.  The bartender poured us all up.  One drink, two drinks - lets go on the dance floor. Sure...I danced, smoked and drank some more. Next thing I know I went from 0 to 360.  I was dancing on the stage, whining a few people and I even remember whining a tree...like who does that?! clearly a drunken me, does...smfh! So the night ended. The reality struck that I was the driver...oh right! Ok...I talked to myself and God the entire way to the car.  God must be shaking his head laughing at me every time I get tapped cause I tell him all the time, just get me home and I promise I wont drink again for a week.  He always delivers me though! That's true Love, right thurrrr! Anyway, we all get in the car, I was good for about 10 minutes. The bday girl, who loves to drive anyway, told me pull over, she needs to drive. AMEN! I nicely pulled into a bus layby and hustled my fat ass over to the passenger seat.  No argument from me, buddy!  We get back on our way, and one of the passengers ask to stop and visit a friend. Keep in mind its 3:45 in the morning...okay sure. Lets go! That turned into about an hour.  I walked outside to use my phone to return a call and fell asleep in the car.  I woke up at 5:45 outside my house...but I'm still the designated driver, right? Shidddd!

I couldn't get to my bed fast enough! I ripped off all my clothes, and hopped in my bed.  The next time I woke up was at 10:15 am making 8:45 to work.  My son had already been home that morning to get ready for school - I missed that (shame on me), my dog sitter had attempted to bring my dog home before they went to work (shame on me).  My living room, bathroom and bedroom looked like I had a party cause my shit was everywhere (shame on me). Needless to say, I was home in bed allllll day the next being useless and unnecessary cause I was hung wayyyyy over.

I think i need to re-evaluate my life! LOL!........ nahhhhhhh I love it!