SOS! Help

I am currently typing this blog from my bed.  I am being held hostage by the biggest cockroach I have ever seen in my life!!!!! Cockroaches are not a common occurrence in my house, however, on the occasion one decides to enter my domain, its usually a showdown between the ghastly insect and bug spray.  I act as the referee.  Unfortunately, today, I was sprawled across my bed, playing with my Pomeranian.  I don't know why but I looked down and BAHM!!!! There it was, on its back, legs spread as if it were dead.  My natural instinct was to smash it with my sneaker that was laying on the floor next to it.  I proceed to do so, and somehow I... (the blattaphobiac) flipped this disgusting creature over and it clung to my sole of my fucking sneaker!!!!! I flung the sneaker across the room in panic.  The bastard laid their looking at me without fear of being fumigated to death.  I was instantly paralyzed. (They scare me to a whole next level) My heart started racing and I wanted to cry but I couldn't loosen up enough to let the tears fall.  (I know, I know, you're thinking, I'm a big sissy...they are more afraid of people that people should be of them....fuck off with that bullshit! Its not helping)  The cockroach ran so fast under my bed that I did not get a chance to react and attempt a smashing again.....So now, as I said...I'm being held hostage.  I keep feeling creepy crawling things and keep looking at every wall to ensure that I am not the victim/target of some sick and twisted Cockroach hit.

I don't know what to do now, but my future isn't looking bright :(